- Tiffa Chadwick
Last Updated: 08/11/2009
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{ Video - No more Angel Gold. }
November 08, 2009 07:02pm
Copy & Paste Again.
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=100514090
{ Don't EVER spam my fxcking blog. EVER. }
November 05, 2009 10:08pm
To whomever you are, I deleted your comments.
To anyone else, don't ever spam my f*cking blog, dude. If you aren't an Angels Online member you don't even have a real reason to post on my blog. So don't. Because the next person that does it, I'm calling you out.
{ This is Elijyah. }
October 18, 2009 07:05pm
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=64333656
Copy and paste into address bar.
{ This is JEYNAI. }
October 18, 2009 06:56pm
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=64333029
Copy and paste to your address bar.
{ You Hate Me For A Million Reasons . . . But These Are Just A Few. }
October 10, 2009 08:21pm
I wrote this a while back for an enemy, unrelated to AO.
You hate me for a million reasons. But these are just a few.
I am intricate. I am a wonder.I've been broken a million times but
I have become strong and
I continue to get stronger everyday.
I am a beautiful human being.
I am full of emotion, passion, and I can distribute love
Accordingly
As to how it is deserved.
But you
You
Are hollow.
On the inside you have nothing.
And while I am confused but growing
Confused but learning
Confused but forming and shaping
You
Are just hollow.
Nothing.
Just bad spirits, thoughts that eat at you
False hope that mocks hope that will never exist
Just
Purely
Hollow.
I have few that love me.
Few that want to see me happy.
Few.
But they feel strongly.
They praise me when I'm worthy of praise
Scold me lovingly when I am worthy of being reprimanded.
But you
You
Are alone.
More than I am.
More than I ever have been but the difference
Between you and me
Is that I've accepted feelings of loneliness
It's hard
But I can make it my own.
You won't face the loneliness that surrounds you.
Loneliness that unlike mine
It is very much so your fault.
I have succeeded where you've failed.
I have determination you will never obtain.
Where you are hopeless I keep trying.
Where you hide behind closet doors and cry I bite my lip and let the world see my strain.
But let them know
My strain is gain.
While you throw in the towel and blame everyone else
I'm learning to try and stop blaming God
and I pray.
Do you pray?
I pray for you.
That you can find happiness and stop trying to fill the void of your own unhappiness by making others miserable.
That you can be strong so that you may cease trying to make others feels weak.
That you'll be an adult and start realizing some things in life are actually your fault.
That you can stop hating me for being what you can't.
I am a thoughtful human being. Not so much in the light of
Consideration
Thoughtful as in
Always thinking
And I think I forgive you
You and all those that surround you.
I forgive you
Because I feel extremely sorry for you.
Amen.
{ And This is How I Feel . . . [Censored for AO Blog] }
October 10, 2009 08:18pm
And This is How I Feel . . .
No, this isn't a poem.It's not a fancy love letter.
With feelings deep and intricate.
Emotions tense or high.
It's what's on my mind.
And what I have to say to you.
See where I come from and how I was raised I don't know much about emotion.
I know sure as hell how to feel it.
But somewhere along the line I forgot how to share it.
And now I don't know how to show it.
This is what I don't have the balls to say to your face.
And this is how I feel . . .
Sometimes you upset me.
You make it a little hard for me to be myself.
Your take it or leave it attitude about everything, even when I'm not trying to argue.
Sometimes I feel a little small.
I feel like a little girl next to you.
I know you aren't doing it on purpose.
But I know that you know you're doing it.
I don't like that you're a mystery.
I don't like that you are complicated, even if you think you aren't.
I don't like how you see things and people through rose tinted glasses.
And I don't like how you try to make everything simple when it's not.
I don't like that when you talk to me sometimes you blatantly look at my breast and only bother to make eye contact like thirty f**king percent of the time.
. . .
But I do like how strong you are.
I do like how you think in general.
I like the way you look at me when you think I'm not watching.
I like the way you look at me when you know I'm watching.
I like the phone calls just to let me know you're thinking of me.
I like that even though you have a million priorities infront of me, you still try to make me feel as important as you can considering your situation.
. . . It's enough that it doesn't bother me I'm sharing you.
I love the way you kiss me, it's definitely different.
I love it when you kiss my nose and forehead. If I were white, you'd see I was blushing.
I love the noises you make when you kiss me, and how you whisper to me.
I love how you are gentle but forceful.
. . .
From the moment you kissed me I could tell you wanted that for a long time.
I could tell from the look in your eyes yesterday I hurt you.
And I'm not going to promise I'll never do that again, and I'm sure as hell not going'ta promise I'll never be angry again . . . but I'll try not to be.
You're the first guy that's ever told me why he thought I was pretty and I believed it.
When we talked through how this was going to work, I didn't believe you when you said it wasn't going to be a hit it + quit it. I see I was wrong now.
Men have hurt me a lot in the past.
People have hurt me a lot in general.
So I know you say I'm "just going to have to get over it" but it's more complicated than that.
There are going to be times I'm not going to entirely believe what you say.
There are going to be times I'm going to be suspicious or think you are lying.
There are going to be times I think you are out to hurt me when you're not.
There are going to be times I'm going to tell you you don't care about me when you do.
But you are just going to have to get over it.
. . .
I know already that you are one in a million.
But so am I. So prepare yourself.
Cause trust me, you haven't seen the best/worst of me yet.
Hugs and Kisses.
Tiffany.